.When God Makes You Dark Skinned.
I always say that I feel like I was born to be dark skinned. Lol. That sounds odd, but not many souls can handle it, as CLEARLY illustrated by the documentary “Dark Girls.”
I know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I love being dark. It’s unique and beautiful in my eyes. Did I always feel this way? Of course not. I’ve been a child before. I came to the US from Ghana where everyone in my class was Black with the exception of one or two White children, to a place where it was the exact opposite for me. Always the only Black person; and if there were many Black people. I was usually the darkest.
I’ve had my own share of insults and a slew of backhanded compliments, like any other person. White AND Black children telling me that I could not play with them b/c I was too dark to be the “sister”, my skin color was the color of dog poo, even the classic African booty scratcher; and I’m still scratching my head trying to figure out what exactly that is. The young children were the owners of the insults while grown adults delivered backhanded compliments such as “OMG I love your skin color it’s so dark, it’s so black, it’s almost like tar, omg its no nice” o_0. Or “you have nice hair for an African” AND “Aww you are so black, but it’s okay because you are still beautiful”
I occasionally wondered why I was so much darker than most, and decided to ask my mom one day. The conversation was very short and went a little something like this:
Me: Ma, why am I so much darker than you?
Ma: Bc I like dark skinned men and your daddy is BLACK (with the emphasis on black)
She then went on to yell at me about questioning how God made me…
I soon let it go
Well…alright! Nice chat. lol
I think that one thing that really saved my confidence as a child was the fact that I felt good about the PERSON that I was. I was confident about my personality, my intelligence, my generosity, my wit, my humor, my self respect, my relationship with Christ! Someone could say “you’re ugly” and I would respond with a witty clap back and a straight face like nothing! People could tease me all they want, but they respected my behind and I was never socially ostracized.
Parents DESPERATELY need to instill confidence in their children early on because kids are cruel. I’m not a mother, but if YOU don’t tell your child how beautiful and intelligent they are who will?? Certainly, not their classmates. I’m saying this because it was my experience. It breaks my heart when I hear young African girls ashamed of both their skin color AND their names! (Man listen! My name is AMA. No it’s not short for anything; it’s only 3 letters, get a grip on your life & your phonetics and learn how to SAY it. Lol)
Anyway, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Sometimes I feel like Black people always have to find ways to divide themselves. At times I seriously think that the entire Black race should make an appointment and share a colossal couch to receive therapy for the deep rooted issues that have affected the community for so long. I suppose it is expected for a group of people that overcame such oppression to emerge with SOME sort of issues right?, specifically the color complex and the narrow minded “good hair” views. It is like that family issue that was just never resolved. No one goes through hundreds of years of slavery without there being subconscious psychological damage that is passed on generationally. You can’t just be Black you have to be “pecan, butterscotch, mocha, brown, chocolate, dark chocolate, mint chocolate, midnight black, 3:30am black, ” and on and on. I don’t hear any White people saying “Oh I’m snowflake white, off-white, mayonnaise white, rosy pink, sugarless gum pink, vanilla white, French vanilla white, coconut white.” etc, and actually thinking they are better because their shade of white is more preferable.
The aforementioned is exactly why I feel was born to be dark. Others would crumble. It’s hard out here for a dark skinned girl lol. Society and the media aren’t telling you that you are beautiful, but you need to know that you are. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are! We are all allowed to have our insecure MOMENTS, but you have to own who you are, accept who you are, and love who you are. You want to feel pretty? Then be happy with the way God made you.